Recovery is a Commitment
Oscar-winner Philip Seymour Hoffman had been clean for over 20 years and relapsed. Robin Williams had more than two decades of clean time before checking into treatment again and losing his precious life short after. Anchor Elizabeth Vargas spent several weeks in rehab last fall and returned to a treatment center in less than a year as a precaution it was said. These are just a few examples which show that recovery from substances means more than just a brief visit at a treatment facility.
Recovery is a lifetime commitment; the mental challenge of staying clean and sober is often underestimated. The numbers vary, but a high amount of people relapse. People need to understand that addiction or relapse is not a weakness or a moral failure, it is a disease. This disease requires certain measurements just as diabetes, cancer or other illness would. However, it is controllable as long as it doesn’t lose its priority for the addict.
About 10% of the population has the disease of addiction, according to some experts. Some of them can and will recover, just be prepared; it is a very long way and a lifetime commitment to abstinence and a high mental challenge, not only for the addict, but for the family and other loved ones as well. If somebody is fortunate enough to enter residential treatment at some point, he can’t expect to be cured. There is no magic wand to ‘desensitize’ someone or heal the urge. It provides a detoxification, therapy and gives the person lots of tools to cope with his disease in the real world. It is worth all of the time, money and effort spent since the addict learns a lot of skills he didn’t have before. If treatment needs to be residential or outpatient depends a lot on the addiction itself, as well as the state of progress he is in. Often, residential treatment can be extremely helpful if the person is not totally willing yet to give up his self-destructive habits.
I qualified for residential treatment, my medical condition was a true disaster, and I was just maybe weeks or month short of dying. I had stopped breathing before and my body was ready to give up. No food could stay in my stomach; I could barely hold myself on my feet. My body was swollen and my mind was in true insanity. I discovered that I could not live with alcohol and drugs any longer, but I couldn’t live without it either. Feeling hopeless and helpless was my mental status from sunrise to sunset, each day and every day. Residential Treatment was the mind-opener and first step into a world I could have not imagined.
During residential treatment there is zero or little confrontation with the substance and very little exposure to stress of life, so it is an easy time for the addict, the challenge starts later in the real world. Lots of the long-term success for recovery depends on the support network, that the addict got and if he engages in any form of continuing care after the treatment. The initial residential treatment can be a solid foundation to a complex problem, which requires a lot of attention and maintenance. A good residential facility will release the addict at graduation with a solid plan in hands about aftercare, medical help and good knowledge on how to work with the support network awaiting him at home. The hard part will be the life change that has to start the day of the graduation from the residential treatment. Always a good move is the utilization of sober living homes, half way houses, Intensive Outpatient Therapy, and the like to gradually soften the transition back into the real world. The biggest challenge is for some to re-organize life, get new friends, change playgrounds and playmates, as they only lead to old-time habits and triggers.
For me, the residential treatment was followed by Intensive Outpatient Therapy and later by regular outpatient groups combined with meetings, meetings and more meetings of local 12-step groups. It was a winner for me. I could take from each program, teacher, trainer, coach, sponsor, and peer what I needed for my success and build my recovery around it. Each addiction is unique and each person different as well as his progress and willingness. Therefore a recovery is never a one-size-fits-all deal, rather a very individualized approach, growing parallel with the addict.
“Bring your body and your mind will follow” was a saying that worked for me, as I developed my entire willingness for recovery during my residential in-patient stay. I knew something had to be done; I just wasn’t really willing to give up all substances yet and take responsibility at this moment. The consequent work of motivation and skills I learned during treatment, gave me the encouragement I needed to succeed. I cried endless tears, went through shakes and withdrawals, was broken down and built up in my own mind and ended up in a new life beyond all expectations. I prayed and cussed in the same sentence, experienced hope and fear in the exact same moment, smiled while crying, was full of hate and love, fear and faith, but I was guided into a direction to renew my own self, discover spirituality and the true meaning of healing. I was released with a mind full of new knowledge, a briefcase full of information and plans and the most truthfully loving hugs I experienced in my life.
After about ten days of being substance free the mind starts to clear up, after twenty days the first new habits will be formed and 30, 60 or even 90 days can only be the beginning of changing a mental status that dominated the addict’s life for many years, often a lifetime. There is no cure for addiction, like there is no real cure for diabetics or many cancer types, but there is recovery, which allows the addict to live a beautiful life with very little restrictions, as long certain necessary rules keep permanently becoming part of life.
Many programs assist in long term recovery, I don’t want to judge anybody as being good or bad. I firmly believe there is some good in each, and every person should find the way that serves him. Some seem to be more established and successful than others, but that does not mean it’s the only way. The most important part is that the addict engages in something that helps to keep recovery on top of the priority list. Often this is the most important thing that the support network of family and friends can do for him, to encourage engagement, promote an active, healthy lifestyle, and empower recovery as well as giving assistance for example in form of rides to meetings or babysitting for times of aftercare treatment. Some find their recovery at 12-step programs as their long-term aftercare, some find it in God, and others prefer a different kind of spirituality in their life. Good and bad examples have been seen in all attempts.
I am truly living my sobriety to the best of my willingness each day. I know today that I need a meeting the most if my mind tells me that I’m fine without. It is the 12-step program that works for me combined with many other tools I took home from therapy and very intense continuing education in the field. Connecting on a daily basis with others in recovery is for me absolute necessary. My own recovery and my work are serving the purpose today in a perfect way.
Relapse is very common and not the end of the world, even not desirable by any means. During the time of abstinence the addict has lost some of his physical tolerance to the drug and a relapse can often be accidentally life-threatening or even fatal. There are several ways to implement a relapse prevention plan into the new lifestyle and it is always good to regularly work on it and keep it updated, as situations, friends and triggers change.
So far, I have not relapsed in 4 years. I am very proud of this and keep doing everything I was told to do as good as I can. I can never be sure about my sobriety, but I can do my best to keep it my priority and work for it. Does it interfere with life? Yes, it does. If other people sit at the theater or watch a game on TV, I sit in a meeting. Does it interfere with my life? No, it does not. I build my life today around my sobriety and recovery. People around me know about my disease and know how important my healthcare is for me. I am a very outgoing person, have lots of fun in life, am extremely active and always in the first row to have a fun adventure, but I won’t let it come in the way of my meetings or other self-care, that has to be always first.
Many underlying issues and co-occurring mental health conditions, such as bipolar, schizophrenia, depression or anxiety need to be treated as part of recovery from substances in dual-diagnosis facilities to help an addict with such issues as best as possible, as they often trigger chronic relapse and undermine all attempts of getting clean and sober. A proper diagnosis is very important to make recovery possible, keeping cost for the family low and success for the addict high.
Recovery is a long process and it is important not to cut the time of learning coping skills short because of busy schedules in life or the wrong belief that an understanding has taken place. Cutting time short on learning coping skills, and having recovery highest priority in life, does in most cases lead to relapse. Recovery is a lifestyle; it needs to be lived, not to be part of life just for a while. Recovery is a commitment that needs always highest priority. Recovery is a choice which most addicts did not have by themselves before. It’s a choice which is gained during treatment. The choice has not been there in active addiction. Recovery is not a matter of willpower but of intensive help and work. Recovery needs determination and passion, not being sidetracked away from the substance and the problem.
Recovery is possible and I am grateful that it was possible for me. Hard work, lots of treatment and following advice from professionals, sponsors and friends brought me to a beautiful life with and in recovery today. The process took a long time and more than once I wanted to give up. I just reminded myself continuously that giving up means giving in to the devil in disguise and the need to start all over again with all the shakes, the emotions, the battles, and the fear. This keeps me sober today together with my meetings, my support network and the skills I have learned. Recovery does require a daily dose of work on it, but I’m worth it. I love my life today with all components that are part of it.
If you would like to be part of our movement please share your story of recovery with us here at Heroes in Recovery.
Our experience is our language and we help each other by sharing it. Participation in this lifeline of hope is easy. It might take a half hour or an hour of your time, nothing compared to the life it may save. Read under ‘Heroic Stories’ how others did it, I know you can help too and count on you. Every single one is important. Just leave a note here under the article or connect with me on Facebook at Susanne Johnson.