- Alcohol
- Friends & Family
Submitted by: Susanne Johnson
On June the 30th I celebrated 27 years of continuous sobriety. I sobered up after the conviction of my 6th DUI. The judge sentenced me to some jail time and added an agreement to cut some of this off, if I would enter residential treatment. I was totally unfamiliar with that and did it simply to fulfill my legal obligation. At that point I certainly didn’t intend to stop drinking, but while I was in treatment the light came on. I had no idea what recovery was all about with, meetings etc, but I was attracted to it and gave it a try.
I was 18 when I started drinking and at 35 I found my freedom in sobriety. I had been married for seven years at that time and had a five year old daughter. My wife and I met in a bar over a pile of cocaine. Drugs started our relationship, but sobriety made it strong. Her last words as I went to treatment were ‘No matter what, don’t stop drinking. I don’t know what they will be telling you over there, but don’t stop.’ But as I was ten days into my residential treatment, she was out with my mom and my sister and as the ordered drinks arrived at the table, she all of a sudden said ‘I’ve had enough.’ and entered her own recovery, not even knowing what I was experiencing at the treatment facility. She has not had a drink since.
When I returned home from treatment, I became very active in a 12-step fellowship and my recovery. I became very engaged with a sponsor and in the 12-step community. My wife was very supportive of my actions, but she didn’t enter the rooms of the 12 steps for several years. She white-knuckled her sobriety, which was hard.
Our marriage was challenged. If you both get into recovery, the base of the relationship has changed. We were encouraged to have date nights. We got reacquainted got to know each other on a different level. It was often the longest hour and a half of my life, since we didn’t know how to talk to each other. We didn’t know how to have a conversation with each other about each other. We overcame all the obstacles and have been married for 34 years.
As we moved to Virginia, my wife became part of the 12-step fellowship and today she couldn’t be a more active member. She has a sponsor, sponsees and doing book studies in our home every week. I feel honored to be invited to 12-step conferences on about 22 weekends a year to share my story with fellow alcoholics in recovery. It is a blessing about the people I get to meet and the places I get to go.
We always thought, that our daughter was too young to know anything about our alcoholism and addiction issues. We have recently had conversations with her about it and found out that she was more aware of it than we realized. For a while getting sober made me an absentee father, because I got so engaged in the program. It was hard to find the balance between the rooms and family. I know today, that there were times I was going to meetings simply because that was needed to keep my sobriety, but at times I also just went to run from home and my parental responsibilities. I went at times to meetings, because they told me how great I’m doing and that they are so thrilled to see me and to ‘keep coming back’. Through the process, I forgot to fulfill my responsibilities as a father. At home I wasn’t quite that popular.
Today my passion is still my engagement in my recovery and the 12-step community. It is a huge part of our life together as a married couple in sobriety.