- Alcohol
- Friends & Family
The last time I was drunk was in Maui, Hawaii. Thankfully, I was with my mother. She was able to help me understand that I had drank the whole bottle of rum in a blackout. My alcoholic mind quickly told me that I’d just poured that bottle down the drain. If she hadn’t been there to show me what I’d become, I don’t know where I’d be today.
Although I had not gotten drunk again after Maui, I’d yet to surrender to a 12-step program and my higher power. After seventy-seven days sober, I attempted suicide. I broke my skull and ended up in the psychiatric ward for the third time. I lost my job, my house, and custody of my daughter. I had been beaten.
I surrendered fully, and I had a spiritual experience there at the psychiatric ward. I committed myself to the twelve step tradition and haven’t looked back. That was my emotional bottom. I am grateful that this bottom was one that I could recognize and conform to.
I went to twelve-step meetings as often as I could. I got a sponsor, worked the steps and kept moving forward. I’ve made amends and began to turn my life around. I’d been through seven sponsors until I found the one that works for me. I didn’t jump; life still happened, but no matter what– I didn’t give up. I surrender every day to my higher power and continue to try to be a better person.
Nobody wants to surrender and have other people tell them what to do. But, you really must listen to those who’ve gone before you and succeeded at sobriety. They will help you. You absolutely cannot do this alone. Let go of the anger and hatred. Those things do not protect you just cause you to be alone.
This life is possible. You can live sober. It’s much easier to stay sober than it is to get sober. So if you’re getting those urges, call someone. Don’t try to do this alone. You cannot succeed by yourself without some connection to a higher power. Long-term recovery is possible and is attainable. You must surrender and that may be your biggest obstacle.