My son went through some incredibly difficult times, but he seems to have found his way to the other side. I believe that music has played a huge part in his recovery. In fact, when he was in rehab and sober living in California a few years ago (we live in Michigan), I bought him a guitar online and had it shipped to him, because I knew that music would be a healing force for my son as he tried to make major changes in his life.
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I never did find a magic wand. But I did find a magic “pen” that has allowed me to share my stories with others, and that exercise has become such a positive part of my life. If you like to write, even a little bit, I urge you to do so. Don’t worry about whether or not you’re good enough, or about making mistakes, or about what other people might think. (Remember, I didn’t write for anyone but myself for almost two years.) Just pick up a pen or sit down at a computer…and write. It’s great therapy.
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The other day, my son passed the two-and-a-half-year mark in his recovery. I know it sounds cliché, but …
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My wife, Kathy, loves to knit. Come to our house, look around, and you’ll see the evidence: balls …
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In my case, being totally transparent about my family’s situation worked. And it still works. Sharing my experiences is therapeutic for me, and I hope that it helps others as well. If telling my story helps one other person feel like they are not alone, then it’s totally worth it. And I will keep on sharing until the stigma associated with addiction is destroyed, once and for all.
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Too often my wife and I would end up in a “good cop/bad cop” situation. Our son would play us against each other—quite masterfully, I might add—and manipulate us until he got what he wanted. I probably fell victim to his manipulation more than my wife did, but we both got suckered on many occasions.
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