To me, gratitude is like that one friend that you know you can always count on to come get you out of trouble once you’re in a mess. For so long (my entire life really), shame, anger and fear were those friends that I always counted on.
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Fast forward to today and I’m being told that mindfulness or “living in the moment” is very important when it comes to recovery. In my mind I’m thinking, “why, I’ve been doing just fine up to this point so I don’t need to change now.” Classic addict thinking right? I’m not an addict, but I am the spouse and sibling of addicts and it’s very easy to pick up some of their ways of thinking.
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Anxiety about taking a path is often just the fear of making a wrong decision. I can reduce anxiety and worry in my life by being more informed and then stop guessing about situations. Just always remember: which ever path you choose was one you chose with the best available information possible at the time.
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Support, education, and prevention are all things every person in recovery and to which every community should have access. This is something I believe in very strongly, which is why I chose to visit the offices of my state senators, Senator Thom Tillis, Senator Richard Burr and Congressman Robert Pittenger.
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When I finally decided I had enough, I was ready to go to treatment. I was tired of drinking myself to death in fear and isolation. Fortunately, I was blessed to go to the right facility for me. Through counseling, I got help for my PTSD. I got help for my feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. But most importantly, I got help for my addiction. I owe my life and new beginnings to those who helped me get to where I am today.
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Hope may be fragile at first but it is where the healing has to start. Hold on to hope and let it grow. Have faith in the healing process and hold on to the Promises. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Don’t ever go back to it no matter what… Not ever.
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