I was wrong, just so wrong. I believed addicts were people who didn’t have self-control. They were poor, had no loving family, and lived in tough urban areas. I would read stories in the paper about an overdose death and think, “I’m so happy that my son will never be an addict. My son is a happy, straight-A student who is an artist and violinist, lives in a nice home, and has two loving parents. He even won first place in the D.A.R.E. essay contest!” And I thought it was all because I provided such a good environment for my son. What a great parent I was!
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Many of us who have been through a 12 step process have had the blessed opportunity to create a relationship ideal. If you have not heard of it, I would highly suggest it, as it has empowered me in more ways than one. During the inventory process, I was asked by my sponsor to write out my “Prince Charming,” my relationship ideal.
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A few weeks ago, I agreed to lead a service of recovery that happens every Friday night in Memphis, Tennessee. It’s something that I never miss. Created and led by a reverend named John, this is the most awesome thing I’ve run across in recovery. We even have Grammy award-winning musicians play for us! It’s a big deal. Most often I leave with one thought: WOW! The message is in line with the 12 steps but blended in is great music, good food, artwork, a little prayer, a little silence and a huge presence of acceptance and belonging. John is a singer, songwriter, musician, theologian, reverend and much more. How could I ever fill his shoes?
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There were things that tried to kill me, such as the alcohol and different drugs. I almost let it happen without defense. But there was one more powerful obstacle in my life that finally brought me to the hospital and made me stop breathing and my heart stop beating. It was the fear of asking for help! Was it fear? Or was it stubbornness, arrogance, pride, shame or guilt? Or maybe all of this combined?
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When we think about the two words “caretaker” and “caregiver,” most of us probably don’t think twice before using them interchangeably. But are they really the same? I don’t think so. When a person is in need of care, whether it is due to a chronic medical condition, chemical dependency, or being rehabilitated from any illness, the person providing the…
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Do you remember? I mean, really remember what it was like? When was the last time you recounted the days, the nights, the weeks and the months of the suffering?
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