Fear is something that you will hear a lot of people in recovery talking about. When I got sober, I was consumed by fear. While I knew that I couldn’t continue on the path that I was on, I was terrified to get sober. I knew that giving up drugs and alcohol would mean a completely new way of life. I would have to learn to stand on my own two feet without using substances as a crutch.
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Almost every person with the disease of addiction to any substance or alcohol eventually reaches a point in life where he asks himself the most important question for his future. He thinks, “I am an alcoholic and like me there have been millions of others who have sat in a bar, at home, in a restaurant, in a dirty bathroom or anywhere at a given moment in front of a glass, a joint, a line or a fix and looked at it thinking: ‘If I drink this now, I will die. If I don’t drink it, I can’t live. Now what?’”
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To all those suffering from addiction, you are a beautiful person of value. You have an important reason for being here and you have the right to live a happy life. Please don’t give up. There are many people rooting for you with all their hearts, myself included. And I know Andy cheers for you from heaven. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. And never give up! Never!
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In order to make room for the wonderful new life you are creating in recovery, there is a need to let go of that which no longer serves you. Whether it is material possessions, ideologies or belief systems, letting go is a liberating challenge to say the least. The process of letting go can be daunting at times. But once it is begun and revelations are made, it becomes a seamless process of growth, self discovery and selfless gratitude.
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The definition of insanity is when someone does the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. That is exactly what I did. Why hadn’t I seen it before? I was not ready. I had to learn other lessons to get me to this point, and they cannot all be learned at once. Today, I have peace of mind and the freedom to move forward once again. Today, I have moved away from insanity but I remain ever aware that it will try to move back in if I let it. If it knocks on my door, I will have to tell it to live somewhere else.
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There is a concept in recovery that a person is not going to come out of his addiction until he is ready. There is another concept in recovery that no one enters into recovery until he has hit bottom. These are two commonly accepted concepts. Believing in these concepts leads to the question, “At what point will a person decide he has reached bottom and be willing to make a change?”
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